Okay, seriously, I know I'm being all kpop-y & all again, but this has got me so riled up it's so hard to put it into words. Seems like it's just so hard to understand that idols are humans too? I'm not defending them in a way which tries to rewrite and denounce all wrongs. No one's perfect. & JYJ's far from perfect in certain ways; the real fans do realize that. I'm just saying that we could look at it from another perspective.

What the sasaeng fans have done is seriously crazy. Honestly, what Despatch has done too is totally unethical. Trying to expose the misdeeds of JYJ by invading into private phone conversations? C'mon, you're digging evidence of unethical actions by being unethical yourself. Where's the sense in all this? If they hadn't dug the phone conversations, the nasty fans themselves must have recorded/fabricated the audio clips because they were purely bitter...after their own half-assed actions. 

Besides. Cussing over phone conversations is totally normal alright? Imagine if JYJ's totally drunk at their own leisure, private time & some crazy ass calls them & tells them some rubbish. You can't blame them for being drunk at that time or saying shit, you don't know how they were at that time. You can't control the idols' actions 24/7. They're human. Just like how you can act goody two shoes in front of some people & at home you're just your real self. The fans were wrong in the first place for being so extreme. Once again, using phone conversations to justify this is just completely unjustifiable.

This is an absolute case of lethal love, of an obsession so unthinkably scary you'd be scared/offended/disturbed if you were JYJ yourself. I'm not defending them on the provision that I'm an insane fan or anything. I'm just being reasonable, y'know?

Okay, so hitting probably did cross the line. But how do you know whether if the fans themselves had physically assaulted the boys or went over the limits themselves? You don't know the extent of insanity of these fans. If someone touches you without any respect, you gonna stay there like a boss & think to yourself for 10 seconds "Calm my tits, i gotta smile and just tell them no" all the time? Please. When in excessive, conditioned response teaches you to react in a way so that the other party gets your message. A guy touches you without respect, you whack his ass. Since this problem has been going for really long, (& they're probably the same group of repeated people), there had probably been on many occasions where JYJ had decently told them to stay away, but these people obviously wouldn't understand, would they?

After all that shit JYJ has been through, them being lonely/appreciative & having enough hardship this far, I don't think they'd take a chance at being shot mercilessly over stupid things like that. Some major triggering incident (like a fan being massively overboard) must have occurred or something.

Then again, the credibility of the incident's totally questionable in itself. If it's true that these clips were taken from 4 years ago, why were they only dug up now? It's like saying your favourite neighbour kicked you in the ass and called you horrible names, then you shut up for 4 years before you decide one day to tell the entire world about it. For all we know, the entire thing could've been fabricated. C'mon, if they were real crazy fans there'd be fancams. Y we no see any fancams of pushing/shoving/"shoved them with throngs of violence" clips?

Insane, isn't it? 

Just saying.

Shifted temporarily to another site, till then!

I don't know anything about it, I'm afraid of this, truly, but I promise to start believing. That's going to be enough for now, right? This time, I promise I'm going to change this. I need to if I want to be happy.

Some things tie your life together with slender threads of things to treasure

Okay. This morning when I was looking through the newspapers for more updates on the European debt crisis, I happened to chance upon an article in the Life section which was titled "I hate Kpop". Adeline Chia, the lady who wrote it, elaborated on how she felt it was like a "cult-like culture", where all the entertainment companies have formulated the creation of their artistes down to a T & so on.  She went on to describe that the songs were a pain to her ears because of how they were infused with Gaga-like beats, auto tunes etc etc and yeah, basically content that really, really irked me. To ramble off so unprofessionally as a journalist was totally uncalled for. Her article actually sounded really emotionally charged, and that, should not, and never, exist in a newspaper like The Straits Times.

(Edit: So I totally missed the part where she said that Yunho's poisoned water was a publicity stunt. -calms myself down and takes deep breaths. Alright, seriously, WTF? Can these sort of things be taken lightly as a joking matter where it concerned another being's life? Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Oh god, this woman's just...impossible. She just earned herself billions of haters, internationally. She's just, oh god, repulsive.)

I've always said this & I'll say it again - I really despise people who discriminate the korean pop fandom just for the sake of discriminating it. If we can respect the interests, hobbies or even past times that other people have, why can't others do the same? Honestly. Saying that kpop is stupid/dumb/a talentless cult-like culture etc is clearly overexaggerating things, and that only makes you look like a shallow, clueless and unknowing individual. Understand that what I'm gonna write below is based on what I respect about it and not just in response to her article but kpop in general. Everything has flaws, which is why I'm not trying to say that Kpop is godly, or that everyone should love it and throw themselves into the whole Hallyu shit - that, is obviously not what I'm driving at. All I'm saying is to respect people and their love for Kpop.

1. "It imposes unrealistic ideals on the youths these days" C'mon, we all know that this criticism exists for all kinds of popular culture, so don't try to use it solely to attack Kpop alright? I understand that this is a real and existing problem about kpop, but hey, what if these stars were horribly ugly instead? Then all ye haters are gonna turn the other way & say "Oh dear, how do people like that even become stars?" You see, it's not possible to please everyone. I mean, you're entitled to view kpop in your own way, but there is absolutely no implicit need for people to be so vile about it. 

2. It's an interest in another culture. First off, I'd like to clarify that it's just an interest just like any other interest easily understood (by dumb people, even). For instance, it can be an interest in soccer, in Gossip Girls, in Harry Potter, or even blogshopping. Some people say Kpop is not just an interest; it's an obsession. I wouldn't go ahead and fight that because clearly, there is a thin line between having a major interest and an obsession. Some people are so obsessed with blogshopping that they are there stalking the pages every time the page owners declare that oh, we're gonna launch a new collection at this xxx time. They may find themselves feeling extremely disappointed (insert self-hate/loathe/negative feelings) that they did not manage to get that particular dress or top they want within the first 3 minutes of the collection's launch. They also spend every other day in between their studying time (or whatever it is) browsing through the profuse number of blogshops online. You see what I'm driving at? There are many things that people are obsessed about but they do not realize that it becomes self-consuming as well. Stop pointing fingers only at "stupid kpop". Let's move on to soccer. Many guys are willing to sacrifice hours of sleep, get up in the wee hours of the night, risk looking like shit even though they may have a major presentation or meeting the next day, just to watch a soccer match which they may claim is extremely exciting or important in the season's league. Some even use Excel to calculate the odds for their soccer bets. We don't tend to criticize this, but why do these people try to majorly put down other people's interest in Kpop? Even if it's a so-called obsession, so what? Get this right - Please learn to respect other people's interest. 

3. "THEY FLOOD TWITTER LIKE MAD JUST RAMBLING ON ABOUT THEIR CRAZY, FAKE KOREAN IDOLS!" So what about those times where my twitter/facebook/tumblr have been flooded by posts about Arsenal and Chelsea and Manchester United? I'm not interested in what you have to say about those matches, seriously, but I do not put them down. I laugh it off and go on about how cute it is that everyone's raving about it, then I start getting excited about it, & I don't mean it in a sarcastic sense. Learn to respect others. Afterall, all these social spaces are meant for freedom of expression as long as they do not violate the integrity of other people. If you abhor it because the pain goes deep into your bones, you can always unfriend them on Facebook or unfollow them on Twitter. Nobody's forcing you to bear with that itch in your ass/fingers, you know?

4. "Kpop's just really stupid because their artistes are talentless. They're all produced in the same way, marketed in a way to drive their pop culture into the heads of silly dumb people." People who say things like that are either really insecure about themselves, or they are so jaded about everything (for God's sake) that they refuse to see good in other people. How do you define talentless? Performing abilities can either be borne talent, or they can be trained and refined. Many of these kpop artistes have gone through so much in the early years of their lives to dedicate their all into training to their very best so they that they can present the best side of themselves to others. Who are these haters and trollers to judge them and disapprove of their efforts in pursuing their dreams? Saying that they're talentless can be way too harsh. Some American and Taiwan artistes (don't get me wrong, I listen to all genres of music equally) get to debut within a year of training. Most korean artistes go through at least 3 or more years of training. This dumb "formula" which these people claim is used actually refers to the tiring, gruelling and extensive training which the trainees are being grilled through before they can even be considered good enough to debut. They may not be the best, but why are trollers discriminating other people's efforts? People who discriminate Kpop offhandedly are just unable to see past everything and at the blood and sweat these people have poured into chasing their dreams. There are certain idols whom I respect not just because of their awesome stage performances, but also because of the spirit, passion and effort behind the scenes. Take for instance TVXQ. All of them worked their asses off to get to what they are today. Jaejoong grew up poor and even had to sell his blood at one point in time just to be able to feed himself. He worked his ass off to pay for his own training at SM, sacrificing and learning so much about relationships and family along the way. How is this "stupid" in any sense, you tell me? Why can't some people just see past all that glamour on the surface? These are people who have given their hearts into pursuing their dreams. Marketing is all part of it, why don't we just accept that and look past it? Many, many things in life are marketed in some way or another, if you take a moment and think about it. 

5. "It has no originality - everything's just autotuned, Lady Gaga-like, ripped a little from here & there, then pieced together" Do you even know what inspiration means? It means that you hear stuff from various sources, then try to come up with something yourself. If you're gonna say next that "oh, they basically rip stuff so there aren't any new ideas"....well, all I can say is Hallyu goes back a long way to even ten years ago. SM Entertainment, for instance, was formed than more than a decade ago. TVXQ was formed 6-7 years ago. Where was Lady Gaga at that time? Did she even exist? Hell no. I love her and her music, but to say that korean pop's just a rip off from her songs is just absolutely Bullshit with a capital B. What's wrong with coming up with music that people appreciate and gravitate towards? Gaga songs, which are heavily popular, all sound strangely similar. Even my favourite Adele or even Dashboard Confessional - they all incline heavily towards a certain genre. There's nothing wrong with that right? So what's up with getting so riled up about Korean music, which is claimed to be horrendous and horribly repetitive? Just to let you trollers know, there exists a wide variety of genres for korean pop. It's not our fault that you're so...myopic, for a lack of a better word.

I can't believe I wrote so much shit just because of a stupid newspaper article. I understand that people can dislike kpop - heck, why should people even bother about something which doesn't even strike them? All I'm begging is for people to look beyond the surface before being so vicious about things like that. To put down other people's interest as "cult-like" is being way too judgmental and crude. All I know is that it reflects badly on that person as an individual. That said, I understand that there are some kpop fans who are seriously overboard - they live and breathe it like it's their life and become so delusional because of it. These are the minority, however, and I do not think it's fair that you're labeling the entire lot as a cult just because of the black horses. It's as stupid as saying that the entire fleet of horses is lousy, insane or siao just because one of them has mad horse disease or something. Alright, I'm going to stop writing this and go read about how H & M admits to using computer generated fashion models...then transfer ebooks into my Nook. 

HELLO WELLO! :D :D 

It's been like, almost a few days since the finals have ended on the 28th! I'd like to say that I'm really, really disappointed with my finals. If I had slacked lesser after recovering slightly from my horrible flu, I might have done better. I feel like I really failed myself this time. Felt like pulling all my hair out after the Finance paper because the first structured question confused me & I let myself panic and waste time. What the shit, past year papers were so much easier, so much so I could finish them with half an hour left etc. Then came the real exam & I screwed up. Macroecons was worse. I was stressed by Finance earlier in the day & we had like, a few hours to study before the exam in the evening. The questions were exhausting and our lecturer, Stacy's dad, gave everyone one of us an entire bar of Cadbury chocolate each (i.e the huge one). I heard some people were so sian-ed during the paper that they ate almost the entire thing. Sigh. The paper would have been do-able if I had studied more. I almost always never study enough. Freaking frustrated with myself. My midterm results are rly gonna get negated. I already dread results day, but oh well for now...

IT'S TIME TO PARTY, SLACK AND WASTE TIME!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D I've been going out like every single day since the exams ended, hehehe. Went out for a 6 hour karaoke marathon with the best friend on Tuesday! Then met my parents and sister at NEX at night & saw the Teadot 'friend'. Good riddance, now we won't have to go back there & study & see those people for at least a month! Hurray. 

P.S: I hear people talking from outside my window right now. Which reminds me that at abt 2:44am last night I arose from my sleep & kept hearing this group of guys talk downstairs at the swimming pool! It was so disturbing! 

On Wednesday, went out with my mum and siblings! :D Thursday was going out with Pei Jun & my sister for the entire day! It was so tiring, hahaha. Orchard road's lightings are not as nice as last year but it still looks awesome!!! :D I wish there was snow in Singapore though...it'd look so pretty. Yesterday on Friday, we finally had a class outing that had uh, cross-cliques people coming HAHAHA. First time ever please. It was supposed to be a destress day hahaha but we ended up playing squash, tennis, table tennis, and card games! :D 3rd time playing squash ever & when I first started I thought I'd forgot how to play. It was damn fun though!! :D Oh & I finally learnt how to play Saboteur! Was damn tired by then cos I just kept playing & playing squash initially. My legs and entire right arm's like hurting like mad now hahaha. Better than any other strength workout man. 

ANYWAY TOMORROW I'M GOING FOR HOMIN'S FANMEET!!!! :D WOOHOOOO!!! :D I shall look past the horrible exams for now & celebrate while I still can. I think I'm still having some sort of escapist mentality because I just wanna sleep & sleep. (P.S I don't ever wake up past 9.30 or 10am 'cos of my mum who's damn strict about this) so yeah. 

I'm tired of typing. I just wanna sing dashboard confessional right now in this rainy weather and oh yeah my mum chopped off my hair again today & it's shorter again now zzzzzzzzzzz I've decided not to dye my hair till nearer to the chinese new year & oh I think I grew taller and I'm still addicted to tumblr for now & I so badly wanna shop but it looks like I've been controlling my spending on clothes pretty well these days & haha this entire paragraph's been only a sentence till now, GOODNIGHT!

(In order to keep a record/motivate myself for the remaining hell weeks of school left)
What to do during the Holidays this year:

x SENTOSA :D
x Short getaway - Batam!
x Write christmas cards
x Dye my hair again please & do treatment!

P.S: I have no idea why that hit counter link below suddenly appeared in this post. HOW DO I REMOVE IT. CREEPY


Hit Counter

This is seriously killing me. I feel so unwell and unable to study :( 

I feel like shit now, like seriously feeling damn horrible!!!! Oh goddddddddd >:((((((((( I always fall sick at the wrong time! & the worst thing is, I don't even know why I fell sick so randomly! Maybe cos of the stress? On Friday, I was feeling perfectly fine throughout the entire day and was so damn energized while studying with Yiwei & Cherry at NEX somemore. Then when I sat on the couch watching TV (which is not often) at night, I suddenly felt this dryness in my throat and that was like, the onset of some major cold or something. I'm like coughing now & having a running nose & the meds I have at home are either for cough or for running nose but there's none for a combination of both! FML. As I type this I'm sucking on a HALLS cooling lozenge which only has temporary soothing effects.

I can't even sleep properly now :( During the day I just wanna sleep and at night I just don't want to sleep and when I sleep it's a fitful sleep. Last night I had a bad dream. I dreamt that I was having a chinese essay exam and the question was something like "write about something you have learnt" and for the life of me I couldn't think of anything to write during the exam! I don't even know why I dreamt of a chinese exam when I've been free from it for the 4th year. All I ended up writing was financial formulas from the stupid FIN2004 mod because duh, it's something I've learnt, but it was a chinese exam!!! I think I sound like I'm rambling now but anyway the dream ended with me realizing I've to write some chinese crap, so I turned in the worst exam paper of my life with some rubbish storyline, and then I woke up. 

IT WAS TERRIBLE. & the strangest thing was there was this boy next to me in the dream who looked like he was 7 and from china and was taunting me because he wrote like pages while I just kept stupidly writing financial formulas. Absolutely absurd dream.

RAHHHHH. I'm so tired, so shagged, but I'm still far from finishing my revision. I'm so bloody screwed for genes and soc and my singapore society paper because I absolutely haven't started studying for both so I'm going to start later fml I just sneezed like 3 times in a row and coughed twice but yeah by the way the past year SS paper looks so bloody tough I feel like killing myself but anyway in any case

IT'S TOO LATE TO GIVE UP NOW. I've come this far and I'm not going to give up during this final stretch. Even if I'm sick. So what if I got decent grades for my midterms/assignments/projects? If I screw up this finals I'm going to be so dead. The cruelty of it all. 

HANG IN THERE, NOTHING BUT THE BEST