It's all in the head.

Finally decided to set some time aside for a decent entry after all this while.

It's December & the year's coming to an end, though I sometimes wish it never would. The prospect of March '10 nearing, all that getting back of results & all is really too terrifying a thought. To give you an idea of how bad it is, it's bad to the extent that I get depressed, seriously, every time someone says something like "Aiyah you sure okay one lah" or "Aiyah you no problem one" or "So what are you considering to study? Law?" or things like that because it's terribly annoying & deflating. 

._.

Bad things aside. 

Been spending more time with friends & family. Went to Malaysia with my cousins, finally explored a casino for the first time in my life, realised that I really, really like hanging out with them. It was pretty fun despite the pockets of time when we were bored (x infinity). Got through it by cai chuan-ing & drawing on each others' hands :D & seriously, food is expensive in Genting. Grrrr we felt so cheated. Still, shopping was good since they had generous 50% sales & all, so I managed to buy 6 pieces of clothing back. :D Happy happy.

Oh, & I saw this group of guys who had hair colours in a gradient. Like there was a blond guy, then the colours darkened till copper brown or something like that. Couldn't help myself & laughed, then they saw it & I think they felt weird. Aiyo. Who asked them to have funny colours like that!

Anyway, I realised that alot of people have Jonghyun look-alike hair now! Which is funny cos they all don't um look as good :D But yeah quite cool, hor. With the gradient all on one head. 

& yeah, we finally visited VY at Changi's tcc! I burst out laughing the moment I saw her cos it honestly felt funny to see her working as a waitress. Then she kena suan-ed by Jazz, Vivian & I, hahaha. (: She tried so hard to act professional lah. Still, honestly, she looked more like a model instead of a worker there...probably because of the xmas hat she was wearing. She really is uh, unbelievable (burps & all) :D Then we headed to town after that! Hahaha the xmas atmosphere wasn't that um, wild, actually! Pretty disappointing but ohwell.

So yes, Olivia & I finally had our waste-your-afternoon day today! Sat at ion's Starbucks & people watched, talked about things, & it's quite cool how we saw quite a number of people we knew just by sitting there. (: I think I'd want to do that more often! Hahaha I really like watching people.

Hmm, been watching quite a few movies lately too...except that they aren't uh, exactly what I want to watch. Caught "the princess & the frog" in Genting cos there was nothing better to watch then, & "alvin & the chipmunks" yesterday cos I brought my p4 sis & p5 cousin out. Hahaha all the animated cartoons. Catching "avatar" tomorrow with my cousins, heard it's pretty good! Just hope I don't um lose concentration cos it looks kinda tiring to watch. Then yay! Meeting CC so we can finally go wish. (:

I'm finally gonna start teaching in the tuition centre on 3 jan! Can't imagine myself but yeah, I hope it'll be fun. (: Though the syllabus is kinda boring, like what, bunsen burners, acids & alkalis, mixtures & solutions ._. The students are kinda interesting though, had a good time when I sat in for one lesson like a week ++ ago. :D

Olivia & I still wanna go explore a gay pub. Hope we can find a decent one for an adventure cos it's really, really interesting. :D

Okay I got a check up tomorrow so I'm gonna go sleep early tonight. >:) So sleepyy already zzzzzzz. I wish for good dreams with Onew + Jonghyun. >:)

HELLO! :D

Been about more than a week since I updated & so much has happened! Anyway, yes abit slow but I've been hanging out with quite a number of my favourite people here & there :)

Lin Wei is now back in Malaysia & I probably wouldn't see her for months. I'm gonna miss her so badly man, seriously. Hopefully, we'll be able to visit her there or something! At least I caught 2012 with her & all before she left! Wah we were seriously excited & emo-ed when we watched, hahaha. :)

Hmm, okay so far I've gone bowling, stayed at a super, ultra ulu chalet at Changi with my very, very big family, which was actually pretty exciting yet boring at times too. I love playing mahjong! We went cycling at Changi beach too, which was really windy & comfy despite its small size. Wanted to catch the meteor show with the telescopes & all but it was at 2am so we gave it a miss. Still, it was fun going Teo Heng at 11pm till 1+ with 8 people squeezed in a car. Realised that I'm becoming quite of a hygiene freak too, I can't stand bathing outside of homes. Heehee.

Okay, I need to help my sister write her name on her books now, will continue after I come back from K-ing with Hoho :D

(ANYBODY KNOWS WHERE TO TAKE CHEAPER LANGUAGE COURSES OTHER THAN CC-S? $200+ IS OKAY)

I think I'm gonna ban myself from reading other people's blogs from now on - people whom I actually don't exactly give a fucking damn about anymore, because I realised knowing too much (about their private lives or not) can be damaging for your health and sanity. Okay, it's not like I actually read alot now - maybe one or two. Less than three, definitely. & sometimes, I don't even know how I came to know those urls. Maybe through a stroke of bad luck or something.

I don't like being taken for granted, but I absolutely hate, abhor, and totally detest being misunderstood, maligned for something that I didn't do, or when things that rooted from good intentions become wrongly understood.

I also hate how this sounds childish and immature, but that's it.

P.S: This entry was ignited because of an accumulation of 5 reasons, the last one being the most recent and the first from a few years back.

Seriously. My mind's too complicated.

I'm never gonna mention their names again in my life, those people. I'm gonna call them Voldemorts, because they're like him - taboo, untouchable, restricted, an anathema.

So maybe some people should do some soul-searching, think about whether things are really all there is on the surface, or maybe some people should just speak up & not be an asshole behind my back because it's cowardly and immoral, and that sucks.

P.P.S: You're entitled to think what you want, say whatever you deem fit, but yeah, so am I.

I keep talking about the many different people all over the place. Honestly, it's not too difficult to figure it out you know.

Oh, not forgetting to mention, I've realised that jumping to conclusions will make people fall away from each other (thanks to The Starting Line) since sec 2 but if some people haven't realised that they should try drilling it into their heads too. >:) Good luck with yourselves - you'll magically become less of a wholesome asshole in no time.

Also, it's not my fault if other people are the ones telling me things. I'm simply not the one who's opening my eyes big to try generate some talk-worthy observations & then spread to others. I just have enough friends who know enough things to tell me enough things. I just let the right people know, or at least those I think should know. Plus, I'm blessed with the curse of reading thoughts easily. Can't believe I went to the extent of actually quarreling with one of my close friends once when she was saying something about that person.

I think I'm too mentally weak, been letting the tap loose too easily. VY was so shocked when I talked to her but anyway, she made me feel better. >:) Don't think I'm gonna try clearing any matterssss up because there's no point in doing so anyway. I mean, though it did sting, some things just aren't worth anymore effort.

Sighs heavily at the way life works - the way it twists around your neck to leave you breathless and strangled, & how it sometimes wraps just nicely and snugly around you to make you feel your best and at your most comfortable.

My post A's life has been great and awesome so I will not let anything affect me negatively. Was sweeping the floor around my grandfather's house just now, then I froze when I saw his new bed because suddenly, I remembered the days I used to dive into it in the middle of the night, in between my grandparents when my grandma was still alive. I miss staying over at their house, being a silly kid, and having my grandma play basketball with me. The old bed's gone.

& yeah, sometimes you gotta embarrass yourself to make others happy, but it does work, I guess. It's worth it too. My grandpa taught me this random song, I remembered it, then when he asked me to sing it just now I just did it loudly, even though it was off-key & embarrassing. I knew he'd be happy, which he was, so I slapped myself inwardly when I remembered how annoyed I was when he made me sing it in front of his Indonesian friends during CNY this year.

Time to sleep, & wish for good dreams. I promise I'll talk about all the happy things in my life in my next post. Will continue the challenging SN recollections thing too.

>:)

& yes, please bless all the people in my life whom I care so much about.